The Melody sets sail from Thames Side in Windsor

As the winged ant knows the exact day she must join her flying sisters in search for a new home, so the population of Berkshire implicitly knows a day for an outing.

The Melody cruises along The Thames

I arrived at Reading Station with ten minutes to catch my train to Windsor. Half an hour and two missed departures later, and the cacophony of well-groomed and brightly-trousered Royal Regatta punters had placed a slight tension in the air, such was the slow pace of their ticket buying. Finally aboard, a young, pallid Irish boy deemed it appropriate to throw chips at the crammed-in passengers, all too aware they could not alight. My watch slipped around my sweaty wrist and continued to tick. The man crumpled into the side of me answered his phone, his smokey voice tickled my cheek as a bead of moisture slipped down the previously well-pressed arm of my shirt. I started to question the decision to leave the house.

My destination amidst all this was The Melody, a cruise ship that sits on Thames Side. I had been promised an hour and a half of luxury, leisurely dawdling down the Thames - the castle slipping past my left, a fine dining experience happening around me.

Staff tend to the needs of customers

Yet as we walked to the boat a swan lurched at my companion and the captain bantered about the length and unkempt style of my hair. I was immediately taken back to embarrassing childhood days on rugby touchlines. The sun continued to beat down. Then we entered the boat, and all the summertime grit and heat oppression drifted away.

The interior was decked out in dark wood panelling which arched above the dining area, with huge glass windows running down the length of the boat. Sunlight refracted off the top of the river and bounced into the cabin, lazily glinting off our cutlery. As a young couple not entirely accustomed to the finer aspects of life, the gilded decor, tiny forks and champaign brought to the table provided a deep thrill. But so to for our fellow cruisers who, far from the hoity-toity sort presumably preoccupied with jugs of Pimm’s and rivers of boats in Henley, were families on birthday trips and couples on anniversaries. In short, happy to be there.

We steamed off to the east. Just after setting sail, the captain hoicked the boat into reverse and swung it around 360, giving us a panoramic view of the castle. Although less picturesque, more entertaining was the waterfowl. The depth of the boat and height of the windows puts the seated passenger’s head just above the waterline. The result is a common eyeline with the geese of Berkshire, a pleasant perspective to share.

Lunch on The Melody

As we pottered further down stream the mildest of lift music drifted around the air conditioned cabin and the waitress arrived with our lunch. For my companion, a young Swedish lady brought up on a diet of fresh river fish and bracing country walks, a selection of smoked salmon, roast Scottish beef and egg mayonnaise sandwiches fitted the bill. For myself, an environmentally-concious Briton, white breaded vegan triangles came before a dense, dark chocolate pudding. The only complaint we could muster, the boat pivoting at Bray and beginning its trip back, was that the portions were overwhelming.

In total, the cruise was hugely enjoyable. The service is considerate, the music gentle and the hum of the engine calming. The beauty of Windsor is a back drop for the waving children and river birds that provide the bulk of the trip’s entertainment. Above all, the Melody is a little oasis on days like last Saturday, an air conditioned bubble that leaves the huff and puff of peak summer on the river banks.

Bateaux Windsor Thames Side, Windsor, SL4 1QN www.bateauxlondon.com/windsor