I am Jack Hepplewhite AKA weallliveanddie presents...
Published 7 Oct 2012 11:30 0 Comments
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VOWEL VOW: Jack Hepplewhite PHOTO: Luke Dyson www.lukedysonphotography.com
A lot of discontent is being vocalised, not only trending on MyFace and Terwit-Terwoo, but also narking my good old parents. It's the Biff Tannen coalition government's ignorance on the pressing green issue. Apparently, life isn't as important as money. Only a few years after Biff mark one (also known as Maggie), had closed the mines, it seems the new incarnation wants them open again. Surely these robo-politics have the same designer? Well you'd had thought so anyway. My parents, known for starring in the 70s documentary The Good Life aren't best pleased either. The investment cut (deep wound) in green energy has seen their solar panel company go bust. With subsidiaries dried up, they'll have to resort to the trusted, but slightly less efficient, goat on a treadmill in a bid to power their yoghurt maker.
But maybe things are starting to change. A group of eco-bands are pioneering a radical new green revolution, and this one will not only save energy, but also money too. SBTRKT, MSTRKRFT, MGMT and NZCA/Lines - not to mention veteran protesters XTC and LYNYRD SKYNYRD -- are just a few of the acts moving Britain towards a new and greener world by heavily reducing and, one day, outright removing the use of vowels.
Just think about it: with the dissolution of the vowel, newspapers will be able to save up to 25% in printing paper - and that's just the tabloids. Papers such as The Independent and The Times could save an amazing 50%. With longer words come many more vowels. It doesn't seem to be stopping there either. Top Young British Artist Trcy Emn has jumped onboard and best of British supermarket Mrks & Spnsr have followed suit in rebranding their fruit department. From tomorrow, you will be able to buy Bnns, Prs and even Ppls - funny given that they seem to have been mis-sold to everybody else.
Well we are 100% behind their campaign, stick that in your pp and smoke it, Biff! Don't let the coalition convince you otherwise. Life is more important than money, and you'd have to be a darn selfish little so-and-so to destroy the future and think otherwise.
You can see pioneers of this campaign at the Oakford Social Club on Saturday, October 13 - NZCA/Lines will be performing for weallliveanddie and releasing their new single Airlock. It's free to get in and the sublime Jonquil are in support. Plus, like dropping vowels and putting your recycling out, it doesn't cost you anything - free as a brd!
This article appeared in Bracknell News 07 Oct 12